Life@CF

A renewal of hope, a renewal of vows

In the same year, Tony Istock lost his marriage and found the Lord.

Eventually God gave him his precious Kelly back, opening the door for them to remarry and rebuilding their lives better than ever. It was a reward for what Tony calls a “radical change, a radical turnaround” in his life, one God accomplished through the Men’s and Recovery Ministries at Christ Fellowship.

You see, Tony had been an angry man. “I was a miserable person,” he remembers. “I was selfish and prideful, verbally abusive to my wife and family.” He’d been to Christ Fellowship from time to time with Kelly, a believer. “I knew about God,” he says, “but I didn’t have a relationship with Him.”

Joy in the midst of pain

The Istocks’ marriage became more and more fragmented, and the couple separated in January of 2003. After one painful, wrenching year, the divorce became final. Right in the middle, as he was going through the anguish of loss, Tony came to know Jesus and began the lengthy process of rebuilding himself as a new man in Christ.

“The church was such a help,” says Tony, his voice breaking with emotion. “That’s where I turned, and I got everything I needed. I ended up going to Promise Keepers and Top Gun. I got into Believers in Recovery, and that was life-changing. God had showed me a lot of things about my character, but that was a big-time confirmation because it helped me realize my character defects and realize I was a co-dependent.”

Meanwhile, he prayed the whole time that he and Kelly would somehow be reconciled.

She’d been on a prayerful journey of discovery all her own. “I was struggling in every area of my life,” she says. “I got into a small group and that was the starting point of God starting to soften my heart. It helped me see that I had a resentment toward God about my failed marriage. It wasn’t God’s fault. It was us.”

Two believers in recovery

Tony invited Kelly to hear his testimony at Believers in Recovery. Later, she took a hard look at the recovery curriculum, which helps people suffering hurts far beyond drug and alcohol addiction. She decided she could benefit from the course, and began her own program.

“We learned how to communicate,” Kelly says. “We couldn’t communicate, because he was always yelling at me. We couldn’t deal with conflict, because both of us always had to be right. Now, we know our weaknesses.”

The rest is history, written God’s way. “God ended up putting us back together,” Tony insists, “because if you looked at our situation, it was done. It was over.” Kelly agrees: “We absolutely give Him all the glory, because we absolutely failed without Him.”

A new anniversary

The Istocks, who have 7- and 19-year-old sons, went through Christ Fellowship’s Preparation for Marriage program and remarried on May 27, 2006. Tony is now a Believers in Recovery facilitator. They host a small group and plan to work in the church’s Marriage Mentoring program.

That deep connection at Christ Fellowship is an essential part of their walk with God. “We didn’t get reconciled and say, ‘OK we don’t need the church anymore,’” Tony says. “We’re trying to give back.”

If you are addicted to drugs, alcohol or pornography, or dependent on a destructive relationship, Believers in Recovery can help. BIR meets on Thursdays at 7:00 p.m. at Gardens South Campus.

Preparation for Marriage is a dynamic program designed to help couples lay the foundation for a strong, biblical relationship. Marriage Mentoring is based on a couple-to-couple relationship, helping equip others for a fulfilling, lifelong covenant.